Post-deciding. i

The anxiety of it all

Mostly excitement

But reluctance creeps 

Are you sure?

Is this okay?

Moving backwards

But forward in time

Sewing happiness

But on a thin line 

Grown from a seed to soil

It's as though A new path 

is being created

But what will happen

When the habits cease

And new ones crease

But what will happen

When the memories recede

And new ones erupt

The future 

Where regrets are fruitful

And mistakes are grown

But a life continues

Hopefully not 

In a smoke

Or in a bottle 

We love you

You know we love you

We meaning 

My mind
thoughts 

heart and soul

My body

The mornings I wake up

Missing you

The nights I can't sleep

Trying to dream about you

The times I ache 

Just to feel your touch

There is no antidote

Except the love

Being not unrequited 

But given 

With endless living

Think twice

Before you love me

I'm a sworm of thorns

But we try

We try and be happy

Content with things

Everything

Us

You

Admission

wasted nights

sleepless days

parties upon parties

people chatting

Liquid spilling

Smoke filling 

My lungs expanding

Never knowing

Always growing 

Minds collapse

Moments collide 

Seeing you

Everything

Smoke and mirrors 

Meek touches

Sweet kisses 

My body itches

Cravings and habits 

Hearing those pitches 

Then missing you for a minute 

I don't know what else to do

Except accept and admit it 

Idk

I got a word

On the tip of my tongue

I can't remember 

Maybe it's just a feeling 

The feeling of life

Going backwards

Why do I feel this way

Maybe I'm just not good enough 

You don't have to talk to me

But one day,

Just once,

You'll realize it's you

Us

Everyone.

No one is going backwards

Words of indifference 

I'm not infinite 

Nor naive 

Just tell me how 

I need it right now

You can't search for it

But maybe it's worth it

Not knowing