Emotional Intellegence

I don’t truly understand emotions
even if I play it off
like I do

How they come like a wave
Crash against the sand
Then pull back
Everything
that was pushed
Sucking all the energy back in
Just to crash back out

Your aggression outwardly expressed
Yet you say
Nothing is wrong

Is it you haven’t figured out
The issue?
Or do you have
Some sort of blockage
And cannot see your emotions?

Sorry wants to escape my lips
But I can’t be sorry
For something I cannot understand
For something I know
I didn’t do

I cannot understand how I have wronged you
If you yourself do not admit
Your angry emotions

Are these feelings invalid?

For the first time

I came for the first time 
While I was pulled up on him 
I was touching myself 

He wasn’t touching me,

Probably didn’t know how, honestly.

it made me feel hollow after

An overwhelming emptiness that

Made my mouth dry 

my lips crack

My breath quiet

My stomach churn 

It was so hollow I felt dirty

And cheap

A jar with no pennies

I became A hollow tree 

caused by my mind 

Being emptied 

at that moment 

And I wonder if this is all that everyone wants 

But I don’t want it at all