Possession, Appreciation

Love possession 

Love appreciation.

This control that was lost

Is not a mistake

Yet alone a regret

Of what is

Or was

Or not at all

As If it were

A dream

Never ending 

Slowly Turning

Like a Farris wheel at the fair

you never went to because you 

know it's not fun because going 

around in circles is not an excitement

that can last forever,

Even though a circle 
Does go on forever because
It's connected with each stroke of

The hand

And heart 

And mind

And you constantly

Consistently plead

Of that one moment of distraction

And destruction

Of what you used to be. 

The Robotics of the mind

Is Channeling everything

Into your own path.

Control in the veins that pulse

and flow the blood into your

heart

head

as if they were connected

and that's exactly it:

they are.

They are in a way that is

unfathomable and uncontrollable

So you just have to let go

and float down the deep river

that runs on the fact that

This,

Whatever this is,

Exists in a way that makes me 

not exist because that feeling

when shocked by its ecstasic

consciousness

makes you

nonexistent.

And yet not existing might

just be the feeling of this powerful

madness

that was searched for since the 

beginning of time. 

That in it self

Is what makes humans

React the way,

This way,

In the insanity of it all.

Then the question is

What is it?

Love.

Hate.

Fear.

Sadness.

Anxiety.

Happiness.

Content.

Bliss.

Bad luck.

Nonsense.

Exist.

 

The claustrophobia of if all

Unleashes its deadly 

Poison into the deep river

When suddenly 

You realize that 

Not only Do you believe it to be a dream..

But this dream,

Is your reality.

To live.

Man.

Power shit.

Like Kanye.

Now you see,

Insanity. 

I hate this.

I feel insane.

I don't have control of what I'm thinking anymore. 

And I hate it.

How can someone do this to me?

Fuck.

I need to get out. 

What? 

I am crazy. 

I am not sure, actually.

Maybe I am not crazy

I am just 

dead.